A private, raw poem that I figured I needed to finally share (a slightly older piece). How else can I ever become a writer if I don’t allow my most honest words to be seen by others? I need to stop being so afraid.
The mixture of you two:
one part love
in exchange for
one part lust.
I am nothing more than
a convoluted coupling,
a curious coil
of chromosomes and cells.
You labored for me
twenty one hours long
and haven’t given me
a minute more since.
Perhaps I broke your soul
when I broke your water.
Perhaps I stole everything out from inside you,
leaving you barren and bitter.
For years I tried to finger paint
any resemblance between us.
But our coloring and cheekbones
are as different as the contours of our hearts.
I have languished under your gender all my life.
I do not understand your womanly ways.
You still turn heads at fifty-nine
and I am overlooked at twenty-five.
But now I too am laboring with child.
I call her Forgiveness.
I hate her as much as you hate me
and Mother, I fear abandonment will be our only bond.