Someday, I’ll tell you everything.
All the moments that I’ve collected in my jar
and set on my dresser
and carefully observed everyday
at a distance
through glass so strong
it kept me from running my fingers through the beauty.
It bent the light
off into a million pieces of brilliance
like your smile and your soul and your song.
Glass so strong that I’m forever blocked out of the little self contained universe inside.
Aware of all the comings and goings
and yet unable to touch or taste.
It distorted everything
making the life
and full of color that burned my eyes with feelings
like your love and your loss and your longing.
Someday I’ll tell you everything.
The depth of all my secrets I’ve collected in my jar
and hidden away in my closet
and tried to forget about everyday
from a distance.
I’ll tell you what said to me
and how I couldn’t wipe away your haze from my eyes
hours afterwards, days later
and even now.
I’ll quote you to yourself
and I don’t know how you’ll feel
or if you’ll remember
being brave, or smart, or strong.
I’ll tell you about the time when you first said my name
and exactly how breathless I was when you gave me yours.
Someday I’ll stop arguing with my hammer
and I’ll break the glass
letting everything spill out
and run free
But I hope you don’t.
Someday I’ll decipher dreams
and simplify the subtleties.
I’ll unravel my heartstrings as I unearth the enigmatic prose
and poetry I’ve been building for you
in hopes that
you’ll look at me
not through glass jars and mirrors
or worry and question,
not through distance or indifference.
In hopes that
you’ll look at me.
And I’ll be enough.
And then, what we’ve always wanted,
separate and together …